Archive for the 'Meeeewsic' Category

Only When the Goal is Unattainable

A dear friend sent me the link to this video and I’m kinda hooked. Funny how much I’ve been drawing from Youtube lately, it is unintentional! At the same time that I don’t want this to become some kind of personal guide into online videos, I love it when I am introduced to new music that touches me, and this definitely does. Voice like dripping honey on a warm sunny afternoon.




Nothing to Dread

I find this song really comforting.

Reads out like a lullaby:

Don’t be scared no, no
We ain’t prepared no, no
Dreamt of ventures and
Woke up to the sound of the trenches you dig in my mind

Ah, you’ve got a lot to learn

What’s a kingdom
To the man who has sold off his soul just to claim it

Sirens, harlots, bohemians, coloured haze of the street horizon

Ah, you’ve got a lot to learn
Oh, he’s got some time to burn

Don’t you know you got nothing to dread
Don’t you know you got nothing to dread
Don’t you know you got nothing to dread
though you know you’ve got a coffin to drag

A hit and run is just not fun
Lock up your fine sons my dear
The grave of love
We’d cuddle up
Drink summer beer
And then smoke tea

She’s like the devil to the moon
she’s howling, laughing, joking like a kingsnake crawling, crawling

And the herd and the masses, The rings and the turkey, The trimmings the trappings you know you’ve gotta have it all

Don’t you know you got nothing to dread Don’t you know you got nothing to dread.
Don’t you know you got nothing to fear,
every girl’s got a secret to wear

You know you got nothing to dread
everyone’s got a secret to wear
You know you’ve got nothing to dread
every girl’s got a secret to bury
To dread, to dread, to dread, to dread
To dread, to dread, to dread, to dread

That Cold-Hearted Tyrant, the Yummy Mummy.

Oh, postmodern parenthood, where do you eclipse those enduring voices of Capitalism and Mysoginy?

Although not all of us professional housegirlfriends and wives will experience these issues with such intensity, I have found an article that examines what appears to be a new cultural phenomenon, but to me is just yet another case of old wine being poured into shiny new bottles. This is all rather serious brain-grinding, folks, so if you were looking for a bit of ha-ha-ha-ha today instead, I suggest you look here.

Now, if you’re feeling a little like you’ve been failing miserably in your tireless pursuit of the Joneses, have a look here.

Kid’s Rock

Finally a solution for not being able to get children’s music out of my head! (The ‘Peppa Pig’ theme tune is a particularly horrible one to get stuck on).

Jumpin’ for Joy

You would never guess from the sight of the ever-deepening lines of my once balmy and youthful visage that I am regressing in mental years. I blame it on children’s television. It has permeated the corners of my brain with such insiduous precision that I have only just taken account of the fact I seem to know every single theme tune available to the under aged spectator. No more cool underground music knowledge for me. No more knowing who is ‘the next big thing’ before anybody else.  And who would think? I even gave up on waiting for Axl Rose to release Chinese Democracy.

Tell you what, though. This one here is a corker. When I’m lying in my bed cuddled up with my son in the morning watching Milkshake, pulling my pillow over my head, this song will come on and before I know it I am up on my feet, doing a silly dance. What a tune!

(Forward to 0:10)

So as Maes sao Felizes

Voce nunca varou

a Duvivier as cinco

Nem levou um susto

Saindo do val improviso

Era quase meio-dia

no lado escuro da vida

nunca viu Lou Reed

walking on the wild side

nem Melodia transvirado

rezando pelo Estacio

Nunca viu Allan Ginsberg

pagando um miche no Alaska

Nem Rimbaud pelas tantas

negociando escravas brancas

Voce nunca ouviu falar em maldicao

nunca viu um milagre

Nunca chorou sozinha dentro de um banheiro sujo

Nem quis ver a face de Deus

Eu ja frequentei grandes festas

nos enderecos mais quentes

Tomei champagne e cicuta

ouvindo comentarios inteligentes

Mais triste que uma puta

no Barbarela as 15 pras 7

Ja reparou como os velhos vao perdendo a esperanca

com os seus bichinhos de estimacao e plantas?

Eles ja viveram tudo

e sabem que a vida e bela

Ja reparou na inocencia cruel das criancinhas

com seus comentarios desconcertantes?

Elas adivinham tudo

e sabem que a vida e bela.

Voce nunca sonhou em ser currada por animais

nem transou com cadaveres

Nunca traiu o teu melhor amigo

nem quis comer a sua mae

So as maes sao felizes

porque nos dao a vida

So as maes sao felizes

porque podem nos dar a vida

Voce nunca ouviu falar em maldicao

nunca viu um milagre

nunca chorou sozinha dentro de um banheiro sujo

nem quis ver a face de Deus.

So as maes sao felizes.



Should we go out later? Showtime for strangers…

This morning I woke up with:

1- A Hangover

2- A Five-Mile-Smile

3- A Big Fucking Bottle of Joie-de-Vivre

4- A Confused and Concerned Boyfriend

All this because I saw Velvet Revolver last night at the Brixton Academy. Hell yes.

Poor little me went all alone to Brixton because different mates chickened out due to varying degrees of lameness and poverty. So I did the usual trick of going to the Wetherspoons’ on the corner to get nicely tanked up without paying the exorbitant drink prices in the venue. Where else can you get a double vodka and coke for 2.80? I think I necked 3 of those in about 15 minutes. Then I left, because, trust me, the Wetherspoons’ in Brixton isn’t the jolliest of places for a gal to be seen standing on her own!

When I got to the Academy I had already missed the first support band, but the crowd seemed to be digging them. The second band were the Stone Gods. I loved them. I was tossing my mane into the eyes of all in my vicinity as I rocked to their meaty riffs. I am not sure where they were from because I am crap with British accents, but I’m guessing Scotland. Nevertheless, they were extremely well curated. They were a nice little warm-up for the joys about to unfold before my eyes…

As this was my third Velvet Revolver gig I knew Slash would be standing on the far right hand side of the stage, and after downing a couple of pints I made sure I snuggled myself up right at the front in a very choice spot. There was only one person in front of me. Sweet. I was definitely not going ANYWHERE.     


And then, the explosion.

BOOM! Velvet Revolver arrive on stage, and the crowd go maaaad. Scrawny little shit Scott Weiland starts belting out ‘Let it Roll’ over Slash’s awesome musical juices and Matt Sorum’s powerhouse drumming. I am getting so excited just thinking about it.

It was at this point that I noticed that the guy standing behind me was taking advantage of his position and dry-humping my bum. PUKE!!!! DISGUSTING FREAK!!!! I should have punched him clean on the nose, the dirty fucker, but I was alone and didn’t want to get into a fight. And I definitely was not going to move from my amazing spot.

Velvet then basically powered through their new songs, intermingled with tracks from their first album. It was all SO GOOD. Aw. They were all on top form. I took loads of photos and videos, but I had to be careful doing it during the more rocky songs because I kept almost having my phone tossed out of my hand. At other points the over-zealous self-important fat bastard of a bouncer kept trying to snatch it away from me. But I did get some beauties!!!

I am very pleased to report that even with their new tracks Velvet Revolver have not disappeared up their own arses and obliged the audience’s desires by knocking out some Guns ‘n’ Roses CLASSICS. Needless to say, I was having multiple orgasms(although not of the same kind that pervert was still trying to ejaculate onto my arse). They played ‘It’s so Easy’ and ‘Mr. Brownstone'(I nearly cried I was so happy) and also the jingly-jangly foreplay song ‘Patience’, which you can see a clip of here:

You can just make out me singing along. And then the pervert behind me comes in singing ‘Sad woman, take it slow’ REALLY OUT OF TUNE. TWAT.

As you can see Scott Weiland did a pretty fine job of stepping into Axl Rose’s biker boots. I did think it must be very strange being a frontman when you have Slash and Duff McKagan on stage with you. I’m sure it’s enough to make your dick shrink (that’s if you have a dick, of course), but he carried it off well. He will never have the same sort of charisma though. Check this out:

Slash. Is. God.

I did think it was a shame not to do a Stone Temple Pilots song or two, it would have been wicked to hear ‘Plush’ or ‘Big Empty’, but I guess VR shouldn’t narrow themselves to some sort of retrospectiveness. Shame though.

On a different note (here I go again), I had noticed on my previous VR gigs that DUFF MCKAGAN IS HOT! I mean, I know he was hot back in the day, but he seemed HOTTER now. I was keen to see if I would still think that third time round, and I am pleased to report HE. IS. HOT. The Ministry of Health should kick him out of the country for sending out the wrong message to kids. It’s like “Hey, don’t worry kid: You can drink until the doctor tells you your spleen will explode if you dare to have another JD, but you can still be super hot in your fourties”!!!

 Oh, I forgot to mention they played a cover of Pink Floyd’s ‘Wish You Were Here’. I felt like I was in fucking Leicester Square or something! I can’t believe they picked that tune. It was quite bizarre seeing Slash, the epitome of Rock ‘n’ Roll cool, scratching out what is perhaps the ultimate number one busking song. I almost pictured him taking off his hat and passing it round! It was cheesy as fuck, but I didn’t care in the slightest and was belting it out at the top of my voice with a huge smile on my face. Granted it is a great tune, if a little overplayed by balding beer bellied men on street corners. Needless to say, Slash’s solo was UNBELIEVABLE, and it was definitely the best rendition of this song I could shake a stick at… it’s just… well, maybe it has too many Leicester Square associations for me… I didn’t notice anyone else complaining though, so you’re welcome to take my criticism with a pinch of salt.  🙂

Anyway, so I explained why I had a hangover, a smile and a renewed lust for life when I woke up this morning. What I haven’t told you is why my boyfriend was confused and concerned.



Turns out I had a crazy sleepwalking episode last night!

The boyf explained that I got up with a start and went a bit psycho, pulled the cushions off the sofa, then went to the kitchen, opened a cupboard and tried to pee(!!!) on the floor. Boyf, very confused, directs me to the bathroom and sits me on the loo… Then I get up and try to get into my baby’s room, and get very angry when Boyf tries to stop me, saying ‘I have to go in there. My mates are in there.’ Eventually he convinces me to go back to bed.


I haven’t had a sleepwalking episode for years! How very bizarre.

I see you standing there…

You think you’re so cool.

Why don’t you just…