Gagging for Stalin

I am proud to report that I am not the only woman on the planet with a maniacal crush on Stalin.

It turns out that stand-up comedian Lucy Porter shares my penchant for the Russian control freak, which either makes me look slightly less derranged or means both Lucy and I need to sort out our taste in men.

 In this week’s Time Out London Lucy has been interviewed by Tim Arthur to promote her new show, ‘Lucy Porter’s Love In’, at the Arts Theatre tonight, where she will be discussing her ‘tragic love life’ which she attributes to ‘accidentally fancying Stalin and having an imaginary dog’.

As a fellow accidental Stalin fancier I must interject that on the whole my own love life has fortunately not been particularly tragic(except maybe on a couple of occasions), so maybe I should get in touch with Lucy and explain that it must be the imaginary dog.

 I actually went to see Lucy Porter doing stand-up once in this joint in St. Martin’s Lane in Covent Garden. I think it was my second anniversary with my current Boyf and we had a great laugh… Sometime during the set I left to go to the toilet and found that on my return the whole audience had turned around to stare at me, as the Boyf had dared to heckle her in my absence. From that moment onwards Lucy showed no mercy on my uppety partner-in-crime, whose slimline metrosexual frame, cherubic Botticcelli curly locks and long fan of eyelashes were an obvious target for taunts on his virility. The result was, of course, that I laughed so hard my sides almost split for the entire evening. She also said I was very pretty 🙂 which definitely makes her GREAT in my books. Especially as the front row was occupied by a gaggle of dancers from neighbouring Stringfellow’s- Lovely girls, but I really didn’t want the boyf to suggest we made a visit on our anniversary!

Anyhow, back to our lovely Joseph. Here’s a painting of him for you to feast your greedy eyes upon. Yum.

stalin-painting.jpg

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3 Responses to “Gagging for Stalin”


  1. 1 Giles Floodgate March 29, 2008 at 5:02 pm

    not to worry professionalhousegirlfriend, i used to have a massive crush on Susie Dent from dictionary corner on Countdown.
    she may not make such a large impression on history as Stalin, but she has certainly made a large dent (aha, please excuse me i couldn’t i help it!) in my heart. ahh….

  2. 2 XenonII August 5, 2008 at 11:00 pm

    Stalin was a great leader. He transformed his nation into a superpower. He defeated Hitler and he saved the world from the Nazis. He is the reason you and I are free today. He is a hero, sent from God. And he was beautiful in his youth. Such a revolutionary, even being the first metrosexual. What a guy and what an incredible leader. The only human that has ever lived that is more significant than Comrade Joseph is Jesus Christ himself.

  3. 3 Professional Housegirlfriend August 6, 2008 at 10:12 am

    Errrrrrrr… OK THEN!!!!!!!!


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